Tuesday, October 03, 2017

UK Journal: The Facade Slips


Oh my! What a great way to star August. About as good as last year's car accident. The day was fine but the evening...?

Yesterday I finally got ahold [sic] of Michelle and we went to Carnaby Street. I got a Siouxsie shirt and a new leather bracelet. So, we had fun during the day but then...

On our way home...

We took the Shepperton instead of the Chessington again. So we got off at Nubiton? And went back to Raynes Park and, instead of waiting for the Tolworth train we decided to go to Surbiton and take the Hoppa since that train arrived first but the hoppa was about 20 minutes late. So, it was 6:16 when I was supposed to be at home at 5:00 (I did call home to tell Mrs. Lee I'd be late) so we decided that we didn't have enough time so we called our mums to tell them that we'd just eat at Waterloo and she spazzed out!

"I'm very upset at you. You're 18 [sic] years old for god's sakes and cannot even take the right train. I'm very mad at your attitude. This is a home, not a hotel!" and then the bitch hung up on me!

Fuck off.

This is a house, not a home. She has done nothing to make me feel welcome so why should I even have the courtesy to call her?

[It's true, I do not have warm fuzzies in retrospect about Mrs. Lee. She was more of a landlady than a host mum. She always treated me like a dumbass instead of a kid making his way around in a different country.]

We met Kevin and Jim up at the station [Jim and Jimmy are the same person, by the way] and Kevin insists now that if anyone messes with his homeboy messes with him, so, as you read, I think I'll get the "Please Mind Your Head" posse after her.

Today she's as cool as a cucumber but I can feel the tension building. I don't want to set her off because it just make me want out of here even more than I do now.

Jimmy just called. I guess I'll head on down to the local payphone at 11:30 and make my calls.

I miss home.

Home sweet home.

I miss my family and friends.

I miss America.

Anyone who wants to gripe about America should go to Paris or England and I think they'll change their tune right quick.

Kevin says that he's going to go out every morning at sunrise and every night at sunset to put up and take down his American flag.

I don't plan on going abroad again for a very long time. I think that if i go anywhere it will be into the heart of America. I think I'd like to tour my wonderful country with the "Please Mind Your Head" posse and really see the sights. See a real country. I think I'll start packing.

[Lyrics to "America the Beautiful" here. No, I'm not kidding.]


Sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with bad intent. Waiting for Jimmy as Michelle cannot leave her house because her mum says the lock won't work and she has to leave.

Michelle is scared of her mum. How awful!

I want to call my mom and dad.

So, Mike, what did you miss most about home?
A. My friends and family.

So, Mike, what did you like best about England?
A. My friends.

What about your family?
A. What family?

Your host family.
A. What family?

Oh, my friends, I miss you so much and my friends I will miss you so much.

Oh, what a bad attitude I have.


My attitude. My problem. I shouldn't compare England to the U.S. What am I supposed to compare it to, Uganda?

I am abroad. A stranger in a strange land. But I'm supposed to be completely at ease in this land which is not strange. It's England. Bullshit.

This trip has really changed me.

I miss my room, my sanctuary, my serenity, my sanity. How will I remember this trip years from now, how do I think of it now?

I think I needed it. A major change of scenery. But what about the scenery? Personally, I love London but I hate Tolworth. I think, though, that after two weeks even London gets dull. It'd be a nice place to go for a weekend every few months, just like Royal Oak and Ann Arbor [!] but being here in England has made me love America. It sounds sad but it's true.

So tell me about these friends of yours.

Jimmy: Surfer dude but not Bill or Ted, ya know? He's very smart and extremely funny. Reminds me a bit of Steve.

Kevin: All American lad but still very cool. Mr. Republican but still very funny.

Michelle: Beautiful and hilarious. Reminds me a lot of Aimee but still unique in her won ways.

All three are great to be around, as a unit or as individuals.

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