Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Chaos Experiment: Movie Review

The Chaos Experiment (Philippe Martinez, 2009)

Six actors are locked a steam room. This sounds like a good set-up for a joke or a new R. Kelly song but it doesn’t make for too good of a movie.

Val Kilmer continues slumming in the “direct to video” world along with staples Armand Assante and Eric Roberts. Kilmer plays Jimmy Paris, a nut who shows up at a newspaper office with a wild story of global warming and testing peoples’ limits. He spends the rest of the film feasting on scenery with Detective Mancini (Assante). Kilmer narrates a tale of how he locked up a group of people in a steam room under the guise of a dating service. He's like Jig Saw from the Saw movies if Jig was down with Club Med.

Eric Roberts leads the steam room group in killing one another and themselves. The poor group has literally two sentences of motivation with which to work. They play things out like every other “we’re trapped in a confined space” thriller (Headless Body in a Topless Bar, Cube, etc). The only thing missing is that their antics are being broadcast on the internet--something screenwriter Robert Malkani already did with the 2005 film Dot Kill (produced by The Chaos Experiment’s director, Philippe Martinez).

The steam room scenes are cross-cut with the police interrogation, helping to make The Chaos Experiment all the more disjointed. Though beautifully filmed and with plenty of mentions of Detroit (it was shot in Grand Rapids), there’s little else going for the film. This experiment has failed.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Inglourious Basterds: Movie Review

A new Quentin Tarantino movie brings along a flood of questions in my inbox. Typically, "What'd you think of it?" "Where's your review?" "What'd it rip off?" I wrote a review of the script for Inglourious Basterds (sic) back in July, 2008. Like most Tarantino screenplays, little changes between final draft and finished film. Additionally, Tarantino always does a good job of painting a clear picture in the mind of the reader, leaving one feeling as if they've seen the film with their mind's eye. Thus, much of my review of the screenplay goes for my review of the film.

Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino, 2009)

A group of Jewish soldiers goes after Nazis with a vengeance during WWII. Lead by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), his “Basterds” strike fear in the hearts of German soldiers due to their merciless tactics and their love of scalping victims. Sadly, there’s no “getting the team together” sequence (which makes movies like The Dirty Dozen so great) or even a montage of why these guys are “Basterds.” We only see them in action briefly, joining the team already in progress as they tear ass through enemy territory and terrorize soldiers. Like Mickey and Mallory Knox, they always leave someone alive to tell the tale, though they’re scarred with a swastika on their forehead.

The “Basterds” aren’t at the crux of the story (a mistake), rather, they’re unwitting foils of Shoshanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent), the “one who got away” from Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz), The “Jew Hunter”, in the film’s opening scene. Shoshanna runs a Parisian cinema where a Nazi propaganda film makes its premiere. She utilizes the former cinema owner’s extensive nitrate film collection to take out the Third Reich’s high command including Adolf Hitler! Operation Valkyrie? Not quite. It’s Operation Kino!

Tarantino does well to not stuff Inglourious Basterds with his usual group of stars (including some has-been looking for a career transfusion). Sure, Samuel L. Jackson and Harvey Keitel make cameo voice appearances but, apart from Brad Pitt (and, to an extent, Eli Roth), lesser-known actors comprise the cast. This feels reminiscent of Paul Verhoeven’s Dutch Resistance film, Black Book, in which story trumps stars. Rumor has Tarantino attempting to attach many other big name actors to his work. This would have proved distracting, if not disastrous. As it was, the stunt casting of Mike Myers as a British General provides the film’s weakest point. Despite (or perhaps due to) the layers of make-up, Myers stands out like a sore thumb. Chomping on a British accent, I kept expecting him to break out an “Oh, behave” or “Shall we shag now, or shag later?” Unfortunately, Myers scene mires the film.

For as bad Myers may be, Christoph Waltz shines as Colonel Landa. The opening scene (which brings to mind the introduction of Lee Van Cleef’s character in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly) sets up how suave and ruthless his character can be, going from one to another in moments. It’s important to have this duality set up as he seems to make a rather out-of-character change late in the film.

Overall, the film neither thrilled nor appalled me. My ambivalence stems from what others may find endearing; the use of quirky moments that take the viewer out of the film’s overall narrative arc. These include oddities such as a title card over the introduction of one character, some on-screen titling that point out key Nazi players, and subtitles that leave in foreign words and phrases (rather than translating everything to English). Tarantino continues to use title cards, myriad fonts, and fake titles (the end credits run twice – once as if we were seeing an older film and once in the current contractually-obligated manner). This is perhaps Tarantino’s strongest narrative and he nearly succeeds in balancing three main characters. He falters on pacing (two longer scenes could be tightened up without loss of dramatic tension) and the “Basterds” arc. The audience doesn’t get to know most of the “Basterds” and several of them disappear from one scene to another.

It should be noted that this is the first time that Tarantino’s gotten close to creating a “remake” rather than just ripping off another film (or films) and calling it his own. Oddly, the similarities between this work and Enzo Castellari’s original Inglorious Bastards stop at the (English) title and WWII setting. The film seems more indebted to other Italians like Sergio Leone and Sergio Sollima. Like Kill Bill, the soundtrack brims with themes culled from other films, especially those scored by Ennio Morricone. The use of music from The Big Gundown ("La Condanna") in the opening scene may be clever but soon it feels like someone forgot to re-score Inglourious Basterds and left in a temp track by mistake.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Projects To-Do List

I'm making myself a to-do list to keep me sane/honest:

Video:
- A-Team fan vid here
- Doktor Kosmos music video here
- Seijun Suzuki "fan vid"
- The World Hates Paris

Writing:
- Movie review: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
- Article: Oldrich Lipsky Films
- Article - "Far East Superman" - Indian/Turkish versions of Superman
- Article - "My Pants Are Talking!" - Talking genital films
- Article - "Killer Cocks and Vicious Vaginas" - Killer genital films
- Screenplay 1 - TB VS JK
- Screenplay 2 - TLR Hucksters
- Robot porn book
- CdC Sequel book
- Article - "Boys to Men" - Body swap movies of the late '80s

Music:
- Get all of my various compilations together and re-torrent/post here

Friday, July 31, 2009

Summer Jammy Jams

It's been a long time since I've posted a compilation of songs but here's the latest. These are the tunes that have been draining my iPod's batteries of late. You'll notice a lot of commercial tunes (as in songs used in commercials) as well as some other psychotic fare.

Download This Torrent

TitleArtist
Party Party PartyAndrew W.K.
The Kids Are InsaneUrge Overkill
Red Right HandNick Cave and the Bad Seeds
ConquestPatti Page
Shape Of Things To ComeMax Frost & The Troopers
Lonely Is The NightBilly Squier
Hit Me With Your Rhythm StickIan Dury & The Blockheads
Fools GoldThe Stone Roses
Love SpreadsStone Roses
Stranger On The ShoreAcker Bilk
Three Little FishesKay Kyser
The Young OnesCliff Richard & The Shadows
Young FolksPeter Bjorn And John
PeachesPresidents of the United States of America
LotionGreensKeepers
Clint EastwoodGorillaz
Mama Said Knock You OutLL Cool J
It Was A Good DayIce Cube
Forgot About Dre (feat Eminem)Dr. Dre
I Know I Got SkyllzShaquille O'neal
It's Me, BitchesSwizz Beats
Ms. New BootyBubba Sparxxx Ft. Ying Yang Twins
Bring 4th Ya Booty (Radio Edit)10 Sui, La Resistance & The Ragga Twins
CobrastyleTeddybears (featuring Mad Cobra)
Boom Shot DisKully B/Gussy G
U Got The LookPrince
BatdancePrince
Son of ShaftThe Bar-Kays
Mr. Roberts #1National Lampoon Comedians
It's Me, Bitches (Instrumental) Swizz Beats

Download This Torrent

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hope - A New Music Compilation

I haven't made a new Torrent compilation in a while. Here's my latest.

TitleArtist
Bawdita Bull God Kid Rock
Dress PJ Harvey
Down By The Water PJ Harvey
Fuck the Pain Away Peaches
Nothin' on Me Barack Obama
Taking of Pelham 123 David Shire
Paper Planes M.I.A.
I Kissed A Girl Katy Perry
Are You Gonna Be My Girl Jet
Code Monkey Jonathan Coulton
Yah Mo B There Michael McDonald
Ling Ting Tong The Five Keys
Parliament Flashlight
Pot Kettle Black Tilly and the Wall
The Green Manalishi Peter Green
My Number Barack Obama
Skullcrusher Mountain Jonathan Coulton
Campaigner Neil Young
Carefree Highway Gordon Lightfoot
Cold Turkey Lenny Kravitz
Indian Love Call slim Whitman
Too Complicated Barack Obama

Why "Yah Mo Be There"?

Season's Greetings 2006

Just wanted to share a compilation that I've been working on over the last few weeks. Some very fun Xmas songs in here. Okay. One. But it's still fun. Just kind of capturing the joy of the season.

TitleArtist
Season's Greetings Arnold Schwarzenegger
Silent Night Chewbacca
Susanne Weezer
I Wanna Be a Lifeguard Blotto
Ben Crispin Glover
Framboise Boby Lapointe
Dominique The Singing Nun
The Sad Punk / Gigantic Pixies
Oruvan Oruvan SP Bala
Mah Na' Mah Na' Piero Umiliani
Super Bairam Borat's Theme
Bing Bang Bang Korki Buchek
We Want Your Soul Freeland
Cum On Feel The Noize Quiet Riot
Jerkin' Back 'N' Forth Devo
Ten Wheels for Jesus Elvis Hitler
Dead Souls Nine Inch Nails
What Is Life George Harrison
Washington Cox & Combes
Crazy Horses The Osmonds
Def Con One Pop Will Eat Itself
James Brown is Dead L.A. Style
Huddle Formation The Go! Team
Apache The Ventures
Who Loves Ya Baby? Telly Savalas

Click here to download the torrent file.

Mega Mega Man Mix

Yet another goofy music compilation I made a few years back. Songs that still make me smile.

TitleArtist
The Warriors (Main Theme) Barry De Vorzon
Pusher Man Curtis Mayfield
Be Thankful For What You Got William DeVaughn
Hollywood Swinging Kool And The Gang
Fantastic Voyage Lakeside
White Lines DJ-RX
Sunday, Bloody Sunday DJ-RX
Baddest Ruffest (Radio Edit) Backyard Dog
Incredible M. Beat
Galvanize The Chemical Brothers
Hell Yes Beck
Where's Your Head At? Basement Jaxx
What Lurks On Channel X Rob Zombie
White & Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic
Chase The Devil The Upsetters ,
Behind Blue Eyes The Who
In A Big Country Big Country
The Safety Dance Men Without Hats
Der Kommisar Falco
God Only Knows Petra Haden
Happiness Is A Warm Gun The Beatles
Who's Your Daddy? Benny Benassi

Download the torrent file here.

Dain Bramage

I haven't done one of these in a while but I've put together a new compilation of music for your enjoyment. There's a lot of Top 40 Shit that I actually love.

TitleArtist
Boum!Charles Trenet
GirlfriendAvril Lavigne
Wind It UpGwen Stefani
RubberneckerDanielson Famile
WomanWolfmother
MacArthur ParkGoober & The Peas
Chick HabitApril March
Switching to GlideThe Kings
Decline And FallFlesh For Lulu
Ace of SpadeMotörhead
Soldier's RequiemNaked Raygun
How Many RoadsThe Who Boys
Magical Trevor (Happy Hardcore mix)Weebl
Put Your Hands Up for DetroitFedde Le Grand
Twist 'Em OutDillinja
Bottle Of WineFireball
Rang Tang Ding Dong (I Am The Japanese Sandman)The Cellos
Ain't No SunshineBill Withers
Sunshine (Go Away Today)Jonathan Edwards
Sunshine, Lollipops and RainbowsLesley Gore
SundownGordon Lightfoot
The Island of Dr. MoreauMonk & Canatella Band
Four SticksSones de Mexico Ensemble
BrazilAry Barroso

To enjoy these mp3s, you'll need a BitTorrent client and to download the Torrent file over here. Enjoy!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Cassette Played Poptones

Similar to "That Music's Lost It's Taste", "Poptones" collects a bunch of songs that remind me of the '90s, regardless of when they were actually released. I find a lot of them quite embarrassing but still enjoy them nonetheless.

Name Artist
The Way Fastball
Song 2 Blur
Flagpole Sitta Harvey Danger
Here and Now Letters to Cleo
One Week Barenaked Ladies
All Star Smashmouth
Inside Out Eve 6
Sex And Candy Marcy Playground
Barbie Girl Aqua
Sick of Myself Matthew Sweet
Basketcase Greenday
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Crash Test Dummies
Champagne Supernova Oasis
No Myth Michael Penn
Popular Nada Surf
Possum Kingdom Toadies
My Sister Juliana Hatfield
Celebrity Skin Hole
Mother Mother Tracy Bonham
Seether Veruca Salt
Ready To Go Republica
Zombie Cranberries
Crash The Primitives
Connection Elastica
Tubthumping Chumbawumba
Honey White Morphine
Bellbottoms The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) The Proclaimers
Stars Hum
In The Meantime Spacehog
Right Here, Right Now Jesus Jones
That Thing You Do The Wonders
I'm Too Sexy Right Said Fred
Loser Beck
Lump Presidents of the United States of America
Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe Whale
Rush Big Audio Dynamite
Scotty Doesn't Know Lustra
Stacy's Mom Fountains Of Wayne
Hell Squirrel Nut Zippers
Down By The Water PJ Harvey
Brick Ben Folds Five
Creep Radiohead
Going The Distance Cake
Boyz In Tha Hood Dynamite Hack-
Fire Water Burn Bloodhound Gang
Bitches Mindless Self Indulgence
Buddy Holly Weezer
Teenage Dirtbag Wheatus
My Own Worst Enemy Lit
Semi-Charmed Life Third Eye Blind
Need You Around Smoking Popes
Frontier Psychiatrist The Avalanches
Stay Shakespear's Sister
Hippie Chic Soho
Sour Times Portishead
Here's Where The Story Ends The Sundays
Tom's Diner DNA - Susan Vega
James Brown Is Dead L.A. Style
Last Nine Inch Nails

Download the torrent here.