Tuesday, September 26, 2017

UK Journal: A Parisan Side Trip


Well, dudes, we're not being excellent to each other over here. Mr. Lee is yelling at me because I noticed a bus station but didn't look at the times and all this other garbage.

"I work my ASS off and he spends my money on that TRASHY White Bitch!" [I'm not sure what this is from though I imagine The Mack. Whatever it is, I like it.]

We went to the London Dungeon. Weak. We went to Trafalgar Square. Great.* Pigeons and statues aplenty.

England -- not just one smell but a cornucopia of stench.

Last night I just hung around with Michelle. I didn't discuss meeting with Natasha today. I guess I'll call her later. We went down to the S&M [what we called Marks & Spencer] shopping and talked to her [Michelle's] skater boyfriend, Rob's house.


[Drawing of a calendar]

July 21, 22, 23 PARIS
July 24 The Cure
July 25, 26, 27, 28 Dusseldorf
YOU MAKE ME WORK! [Cameo reference]

Here I am in Kingston. Some nice shops here but no McDonalds?!? I finally found a park to sit down and have my lunch. I sat home all morning but then I went down and noon and called Natasha but she wasn't home so I curtailed my Wapoling activities and ventured forth to Wimbledon to cash another traveler's cheque and then took the train here. Starting tomorrow I'm going to have one hell of a week! I have to be up by 5:30 tomorrow and then it's no sleep 'til Brooklyn.

Ya know what I want? A really senseless physical relationship with a good-looking woman.


Then I threw out all those credit cards... Yeah... [Oran "Juice" Jones reference]


The Left Bank
Jim Morrison's Grave

I'm now in FRANCE.

I've seen London. I'll see France... So far I only have one question. What do the cows say?


Ah, Paris.
City of Lights.
City of Stench.
City of _______

We arrived at a bit past 8 and found that I was paired off with Doug, the kid from Cali, who seems really cool. Wen we got in after a 12+ our trip I got a well-needed shower, probably the best thing to happen to me today. After that we checked out everybody's rooms. Our is SO SMALL. Two single beds, a table, a window, a wardrobe, a diminutive bathroom. We then sallied forth and met up with some friends:

The Amazon
Fran & Friend
Natasha, Stacie, & Heather

And went to this church FAR up on a cliff [Montmartre] We paid F23 for a fucking Coke and then went to the church [Sacré-Cœur] to discover that it was closed.

We sat down on the MANY steps that led up to the church and several swarthy dudes began hitting on the girls. Oh, it was fun. We walked back to the hotel and discovered that just about everyone was drunk or in the process of getting there.

Oh my, Jim was having a real fun time, too, with his two Scandinavian goddesses in Room 44. I think I'll stay away from Natasha for a few days, or maybe I'll wait 'til after France so she can be alone while I'm in Germany.

I'll have fun, fun, fun 'til Frannie takes my passport away. Kirk out.


REMINDER THE RED FLAMINGO [I have no idea what this means]



It is SO filthy here. The water is not safe to drink. The whole city reeks. And the Metro smells like a urinal.

We had a Continental Breakfast which seemed like it was from the continent of Antarctica. A croissant, a small loaf of bread, and coffee. Then we went to the coach: It's so hot in here. Let me out, please! [Arthur Brown reference].

We went to the church again and hung around a bit and Michelle made the barter of a lifetime.

This guy drew a picture of her in chalk and after he quoted the price of 300F she said, "All I have is this" a 10F piece and the guy accepted it. A mark down of 1/30th of the price.


On the way to Versailles.

So anyway, then we went to Notre Dame. It is so cool. The architecture was astounding. Too much for words. Towering spires. Majestic.

We then proceeded to the Eiffel Tower. It was a lot bigger than I had expected. I didn't, however, go to the top. At the moment, I didn't have enough flow [money] and Kevin took off before I knew where he was going so Michelle, Natasha, Stacey, Heather and I sat around and ate. Eventually we went back to the bus which later dropped off Doug, Jimmy, Kevin, Natasha, Stacy, Heather, Leslie and I off by the Louvre.

Once we got to the entrance, I finally got to see the great glass pyramid and while I was taking a picture of it everyone else was getting in line. When I turned around, everyone was gone.

So, I looked EVERYWHERE, believe you me, I was flipping out after I couldn't see them. Then, after an hour or so, I finally went inside just as they were all coming out! [I remember this as being very traumatic but I don't got into that here].

We actually made it back to the hotel alright, probably because of Heather's expert advice. And now to tell us how to better live our lives, Mrs. Know-It-All.

And then... another great shower.

It is SO hot in France. More humid than just hot. Later we went on our dinner and boat trip. No, not a dinner boat. We went to some hole-in-the-wall and then cruised the Seine. Very pleasant. When we got back to zee 'otel we decided to go back to that church again. Natasha basically ignored me so Michelle and I hung out. The swarthy dudes weren't as bad as the previous night and they left Michelle and this girl Karen alone after they said they were lesbians.

We went back -- Kevin, Jim, Michelle, Doug, the two Swedish girls -- and met in Natasha, Stacey, and Heather's room. When I arrived, Natasha was getting drunk. Cool guy (not).* But other than that, it was fun just to hang out with basically cool people, it would have been better in another room. One without Natasha, Stacey, and/or Heather.

At this moment I'm sitting on the bus - it's actually cool for once. We're on our way back to England. Jim wants a t-shirt that says "I Hate France." He says he's going to write a book on how to improve Europe. I'd buy both. Today we went to Versailles. It reminded me of Oxford. A pretty town unlike anything in the U.S. but it had fewer people than Oxford, a definite plus. I'm going to have fun telling Mrs. Lee how much France sucks and that I didn't go to the gardens at Versailles. What I did was hung out with Michelle and checked out the Versailles food shops.

[What I didn't write is that Versailles had a great open air market and that we bought some fresh peaches and brie. Both were possibly the most delicious I'd ever had. Though I slagged on France a lot, I would go back in a heart beat. I don't know why I was being such a jerk. And, gosh, it's hot in July. Imagine that!]

*The more I read these kinds of things he more I think that Donald Trump writes his tweets like I wrote when I was 17 years old.

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