I'm reminded of Dark Windows AKA An Apple for Teacher, that script (similar to Das Blaue vom Himmel) that Betty and Joe collaborate on in Sunset Blvd.:
How about this for a situation: she
teaches day times. He teaches at
night. Right? They don't even know
each other, but they share the same
room. It's cheaper that way. As a
matter of fact, they sleep in the
same bed -- in shifts, of course.
When I wake up in the morning, I talk to Andrea as she's winding down her day. As I'm about ready for bed, it's mid-morning back home. It feels like the world is upside down.
To put it another way, when I wake up in the morning I read about all the stupid shit Trump's done or still doing the prior day.
Want a funny mental image? Picture me on a scooter.
As I mentioned the other day, I bought a scooter on Friday night. It's officially an "electric bicycle" (according to the owner's manual) but it looks more like a little motorcycle. I was hoping for a Vespa so people might mistake me with Audrey Hepburn. I was also hoping for something a little bigger so Andrea can ride with me and something a little cheaper because I don't like to spend money. What I paid was about half of what it originally cost if I'm to believe the receipt that came with it.
I tried a few folks who were selling on SmartShanghai.com but it seems like there's a quick turnover. That'll be good for me when it comes time to leave and I need to sell. Or, maybe I can get Federal Mogul to store it for if/when I come back. I say this at the end of my first week and I hope it holds true at the end of my twelfth, I really like it here in Shanghai and hope coming here becomes a semi-regular thing.
I went out riding around yesterday morning, trying to find a place to fill up my back tire (was a little soft). Like Manhattan, there's a dearth of gas stations around here. I found one and thought I was going to get some air only to be told by the attendant (yes, they still exist over here) "Wǒ méiyǒu" (I don't have any). She told me a lot of other things but I couldn't understand them. She didn't have the time or inclination to try to explain to this dumb white guy (Yúchǔn de rén) where to get air for his tires.
Instead, I went over to the Carrefour -- a big French grocery store and shopping center that is popular here. The first floor was kind of a mall and the second floor was like a big Target or Walmart with groceries and all the conveniences of modern living.
I think I might have been the only white guy there but, thankfully, that's not a big deal. I looked around for a bike pump though only saw them for bicycles and wasn't sure if that'd work for me. I shopped around, painstakingly going up one aisle and down the next. Thankfully, the packages for most things are descriptive enough with their images for me to know what they are.
The meat, vegetables, and fruit were undoubtedly the most interesting part. I saw a lot of mushrooms, a wide variety of nuts, and quite a few fruit that I couldn't identify. I picked up some sausage, tiny "English Cucumbers" (that's what I usually call them though I don't know their pedigree), some peanuts, water, and a book for Avery. It's a book version of the "Pup Fu!" episode of Paw Patrol -- one of her favorite shows. It's all in Traditional Chinese so I can't read it but I can figure out what's going on.
After my first (known) near death experience with the scooter (oh! pulling back on the handle makes it go faster, not slow down!) I went over to Bollywood for a set lunch.
I've been going back and forth with a guy that works there. The way I was raised, I tend to call everyone "sir" or "ma'am". So when the waiter brings me water, I say, "Thank you, sir." Every time I do that, the one waiter corrects me. "I am not a sir. I am a service man." I wanted to ask him if I could just call him by his name instead but he was running a lot of deliveries after he took my order. And, he was running them on his scooter and I wanted to shout after him, "Where do you get your tires filled?!"
"I'm not a sir, I'm a service man..."
"How about a friend?"
"Aye, I could do that..."
Yesterday was another rainy, shitty day here in Shanghai. It started raining when I ate lunch and just kept on until after I went to sleep. But, today has been gorgeous. Hot but clear.
After posting about my need for air on the Shanghai Expat group on Facebook I finally decided to just go ask at the local bicycle shop if I could use their pump. I did so on my way back from breakfast at Pistolero. I keep eating heuevos rancheros at different places (last night was The Big Bamboo which is the closest thing to an ex-pat sports bar I've been to. Tons of TVs all tuned to various soccer games).
I rented one of the 1RMB bikes (the "Ofo") and found some muscles I had forgotten about. I don't know why I felt the need to ride at almost my maximum rate but I think any slower and I would have fallen off. It's going to take a bit to work up those muscles again so they aren't screaming when I'm riding.
I walked back to my apartment (no complaints from those muscles) and hung out a bit before jumping on the scooter and heading to the bike store. They were more than happy to help. Once I figured out how to attach the pump (rolling my eyes at myself), I was off again and exploring more of the local area.
I keep heading West when I go out, more toward the Huang Po. I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough to try to cross that river -- I think I'd have to take the ferry -- on my scooter but I went about four kilometers away to a shopping plaza. Somewhere around there is the White Horse where they have pub trivia every Monday evening. I hope to attend when they start back on 10/10.
This is also where the closest movie theater I can find is. The movie selection is pretty poor. The latest US films are things that came out months ago in the States. Stuff like Spiderman: Homecoming, The Hitman's Bodyguard, War of the Planet of the Apes. All stuff that is probably playing the dollar show at home or on home video already. It's no wonder there's a bootlegging problem over here if things come out so many months later. Here I was counting on seeing Blade Runner 2049 and Thor: Ragnarok with Chinese subtitles.
Today is the big national holiday. It's basically the PRC's version of Independence day. The country seems to have two big celebration periods, around Spring and Fall though the Chinese New Year moves every year. Today kicks off "Golden Week" which means that the office here is closed. I'll still be working on my Southfield stuff though during the day I'm going to take some time and explore some more as long as the weather plays nice.
Here are some pictures of and around the mall. I found there's a grocery store in the basement and they had quite an interesting selection of eggs. I love that quail eggs and duck eggs are even more popular than chicken eggs here.
The scooter ride there and back were a lot better than yesterday's trips. I'm glad I made that investment and feel a lot more free than I did last week when I thought I'd be beholden to taxi cabs.
This part of Shanghai (at least) is incredibly quiet for being such a big city. This is nothing compared to Manhattan where there's always honking and the scream of sirens. I've yet to hear a siren there though I see emergency vehicles from time to time. Likewise, there's just a smattering of horns compared to the constant din. The Chinese drivers that I've experienced tend to flash their brights to signal "hey, I'm going to pass you" or "hey, you just done fucked up now."
And, for as much construction I see going on around here, I don't hear that noise either.
It could be that my apartment is off the beaten path a bit but Biyun road is pretty busy.
I tried using the laundry service today. They picked up my bag around 7:30 AM and they say it'll be back by 10PM tonight. I asked for it to just be charged to the room which I would think would be the default. I thought it would be a little cheaper than I think it is but it's comparable to the cleaner's where I take my work clothes to be laundered.
I've learned that I can't "pick up" Chinese. The Pimsleur stuff was great because of the repetition. I feel comfortable now with a lot of phrases and putting together words into different configurations but getting the responses are confusing me since I don't have the words yet. Likewise, I need to continue with the lessons as I can't just hear a word like "This is how you say cold as in 'cold drink'" and remember it without learning it by rote. The one thing that cracks me up is that I keep getting complimented, "Your accent is very good." I don't know if that's bullshit or not but I appreciate it if that's true.
Leon used to give Spanish a "Midwestern pronunciation" in Sra. Loter's class for fun. "Co-mo say yamas?" I hope I don't sound as funny to the people around here. I did get to use one of my favorite phrases last night. "Wǒ bù míngbái nǐ shuō shénme" which means "I don't understand what you're saying."
Saying that in Mandarin always makes me think of that Kids in the Hall skit where the guy learned English phonetically. "I speak not a word of English, you see, everything that I'm saying to you I've learned phonetically..."
[The second notebook from my trip abroad starts with a list of Michael Moorcock books. I imagine I was writing down books from the inside covers of those new ones I had purchased in order to making a wish list/shopping list. Remember, this was when finding books was a real chore.]
7/28
Might I remind you kids that we're a little bit more than halfway done? Yep, it's true. Here I am, packing to go back to the UK. I don't wanna go!!! I mean, London is cool, the Americans are cool (most of them anyway) but I'm going to miss the serenity of Germany and especially Richard and Gisela. And I don't wanna see Mrs. Lee!
I feel so sad leaving them. I feel like I'll never see them again. They're almost like my family and now I'm on my trek back to the other side of the globe. I'll see them again. I swear it. My parents and I will come here to the FRG and see them.
Otherwise, I'm just hurtin'. I'm thinking about how I'll be going home. I think I'll take the tube to Leicester Square and then to Waterloo and then take a train instead of being on some stupid bus. I'm hating being alone and lugging that huge suitcase to hell and back.
Can you get some more cigarette smoke in my face? You want me to open my mouth and I'll be your ashtray, too?
I'm on board. Not moving but oh well. I feel like writing. I'm worried about Leslie and Michell. The captain says we might not leave until 8:45 and what time is it now? 7:23. Yo momma!
[Notes -- most likely recommendations from Michelle]
The Ventures
Carnal Knowledge
7/29
Well, that was a fiasco. The thing that hook to the airport [the jetway?] at Heathrow didn't work so they sent over some steps. They were too short to reach the plane. They finally sent over the right size after we'd been sitting for an hour.
Here I am in good old Tolworth station at about 7:15PM waiting for Michelle. She didn't seem mad about the Cure at all but Leslie on the other hand?
Here comes the train but I'm not going to leave without Michelle so here goes another half hour wait. Bah, I even skipped dessert so I could be here on time.
Tonight we get pizza and go to Soho to catch an "action show" at maybe the Cinema XXX, that's what we say but I don't know what will really go down. We (in the previous sentence) are Kevin, Jim, me and possibly Michelle... if she ever gets here!!!
Today we went down the Thames. We went down just a bit and then got off at the Tower of London. Then we went to Greenwich.
[I spend so much time on the stuff that I don't remember and little on the things I do remember well like the Greenwich museum. Being a nerd, I love stuff like time zones and longitudes.]
7/30
Oh my! Soho was quite the experience! We checked out the £1 peep show. The lady in the glass booth was a bit abusive to Michelle [probably for good reason] who could not stop laughing at the absurdity of it all.
[This was my first time enjoying a "Red light district" and was a bit bemused by the idea of watching this woman in a glass-encased booth masturbate with what she called her "Disco Dildo."]
We also checked out this really cool store with many periodicals including "The Greek." Another high point of the store was the assortment of leather and implements of bondage and a wide variety and dildos (with batteries included).
7/31
Yesterday we went to Camden Market. I saw the BEST people and stores. It's the place where the real English punks hang out. Everyone looked so cool. That afternoon we went to White Chapel to hear about Jack he Ripper. Very interesting.
Then last night, Michelle and I just hung out in Wimbledon. She is so cool.
Today we are on our way to Brighton.
Brighton Beach Memories.
The weather was cold and overcast. Michelle is smoking the white cigar so she was a barrel of laughs. In a nutshell, it sucked.
The trip there and back were more fun than Brighton itself. There we listened to The Cramps. Then we listened to the Rolling Stones. On the way back we used Jimmy's headphones (which I'm still listening to) so that Michelle and I could listen to one of my tapes.
While we were in Brighton we went to the Royal Pavilion which probably would be great if they were't restoring it at the moment. And, while we were in Brighton we were charged for sitting down. 40p.
When we got back to Wimbledon, some of us went to this French-Canadian restaurant. It was pretty good. Then we went to the EF DISCO (which also sucked). Saw some pretty girls but being the un-suave and debonair type that I am, I failed to even flirt with any of them.
[Again, I have better memories of Brighton than I portrayed here. I find that I was incredibly negative about everything. Was that just me being a hipster douchebag teenager?]
Welp, here I am on Lufthansa instead of British Airways. Of course the plane was screwed up. It was only about a 40 minute difference between the two flights.
I said whip it!
I hope Richard [my family's former foreign exchange student and probably part of the reason I got to go on this trip to Europe in the first place] and company figure it out so I don't have to go all the way over to Riverview [Hell] and back looking for htem. I actually found my way around Heathrow. I was lucky.
Dude, flying is definitely cold medina [Tone-Loc reference]. I love looking at all the little houses and fields. It'll only take about an hour to get to Dusseldorf when it took 8-9 hours to get to Paris. The miracle of flight.
I hate banks. It's just that simple.
Yuck. Is that breakfast?
England, the food sucks but it's better than France!
I've come to miss the U.S. Not Home, but the U.S. Know what I'm sayin'?
Unlike the flight over, I have very pretty stewardesses. And I love their eye make-up so much [Elvis Hitler reference].
7/26
Welp, I made it in to Dusseldorf just fine yesterday and Richard and I fund each other only a few minutes after I arrived. Gisela [Richard's mom] seems very cool. She doesn't seem to know what to make of me but seems to like my mom and dad. Yesterday Richard showed me around their house. It is huge and very nice. His subdivision is a bit of The Forest [a subdivision in my home town] put in Iowa but a big town is not too far away. In fact, everything seems very close because of the Autobahn.
We sat around in his back yard and then went to Neuss (pronounced "NOISE") where we looked around and found a record store. No big deal but GREAT posters. A Siouxsie, a Bauhaus, & a Run-DMC/PE. All cool and I want to get at least one. We did go to a store, not unlike Target, where Richard bought be batteries and the "Mary, Mary" 12" by Run-DMC. So far I have only been allowed to pay for one thing.
Today we (Richard, Gisela, and I) went to Wal [sic?] and rode the people mover type thing [it's called a trolley, dipshit] then we went to some huge railroad bridge where this guy was playing a Village People tape -- "In the Navy" and "Macho Man" were heard before we left. Then as we approached this huge church, I kept seeing signs for some "super disco" so I asked Gisela to stop. So now, I have one!
Then we went to a castle - dull but nice - where I had the delicacy of a waffle! More of a crepe. Then, at the church -- it was so cool -- it was more well-lit compared to Notre Dame so it appeared as big or bigger. Then we stopped and met Richard's Grandmother. And then.. and then... and then...
We went to his huge record store in Köln (pronounced "Cologne"). It wasn't as big as Tower records in London but it was still cool. I got an Australian P.i.L. album, a P.i.L. picture disc, a cool oldies album, a Smith's 12" for Andy, and saw MTV Europe again. They played "Planet Z" by the B-52s which I wanted to buy but couldn't find. They also played "What difference does it make" so tell Andy.
Kick the bass for them brothers and let the know what goes on... [Pubic Enemy reference]
7/27
What goes on...
We went to this HUGE cathedral today. Sacre Cur [sic] has nothing on this baby. The stairs, not just regular, real stairs but widing stairs - a lot of them. But, it was beautiful. Gesila bought me a nice book about it. After that we got some pizza at the Mama Leone. Difference? Knife and fork instead of slices. Avacado? Tuna? etc?
Then we went down the Rhine. Boring? Hmmm... yes, but I've been on the Seine, I've been on the Rhine, and day after tomorrow I'll be on the Thames. Am I a globetrotter or what?
Then we went back towards the car when I chanced out another record store. Worse than Musicland. I want to get Cosmic Thing or at least Planet Z.
Autobahn? Mr. Lee [High School chemistry teacher] "I wonder how fast that guy's going?"
We went to a disco but it was too crowded so I checked out some really cool stores (closed of course) and then we went to a pub. [I'm pretty sure the "we" in this case is Richard and his brothers, not Richard and Gisela!]
[The rest of this notebook contains addresses that my mom wrote down for my Aunts Aggie and Barb. Also for my Grandmothers and Richard. I wrote out addresses for my friends Jeff Dunlap, Leon Chase, Steve Chesney, Andy Feudner, Aimee Chorkey, Tina Rotondo, and even my Spanish teacher, Mrs. Loter.
The very back page is Michelle's number and address in England as well as Leslie's number that they wrote out themselves].
Today was a beautiful day in Shanghai. The air was so clear that I could see the Shanghai Tower from my apartment window.
It was my last day of working with Laura and Jason. They're heading back to Michigan tomorrow.
We spent the morning at the office, going over budgets, wrapping up their stay, and celebrating office birthdays. With Golden Week starting Sunday, there were fewer than normal people in the office and we went back to the hotel for lunch.
Jason was in need of a new bag for some of the things he's gotten so we went back to the underground mall at Century Park. Fortunately, this time around we had something of a guide to keep the annoying hucksters at bay. One of the guys that works there, James, is an acquaintance of my listeners who put us in touch. I always enjoy saying, "I know a guy..."
That worked out well.
We went back for drinks at the hotel before Jason and Laura packed for the return trip. I met up with them for Japanese food at a place just down the street from me. Dinners this week have included Japanese, Brazilian, Mexican, and American. There's been a real dearth of Chinese food in my diet since I've been in China. Likewise, my diet's gone out the fucking window. I hope to make it to the grocery store and get on a regular eating schedule again once I'm on my own.
I'm curious what it'll be like when I'm flying solo starting tomorrow. I'm hoping kind of routine. That'll be easier once office is open again after Golden Week. I also did a little research and found a bar that does pub trivia on Monday nights (The White Horse). They're resuming games on 10/10.
Places like that pub and some others that I've been wanting to see are just a bit out of my walking range and I don't want to take taxis everywhere. That said, I bought myself an electric scooter. I've never driven a motorcycle (this is a light version of that) so I'm a little shaky so far. Think I'm going to do a lot of practicing before I just let loose and go on a longer drive. Maybe I'll try to hit the grocery store (poor choice of words?) tomorrow. Of all the dumb things I don't know how to get, it needs air in the back tire and it's not like I've seen gas stations on every corner. I haven't seen any at all.
We went to the Financial District of London today. Yawn. After coming home at about 11:30 with a fun bus ride: this one chick, Suhani, is a Nazi bitch so Jim and Kevin started making fun of her. They played a game of the Stars of David vs. The Swastikas and as a collateral, I bet Jerusalem. This pissed Stacie off, who started crying and carrying on. [Our hearts were in the right place, trying to humiliate a Nazi though we could have done it better.]
In the afternoon today we took in The London Experience which was OK. Then, instead of waiting in London, we went back to Tolworth to Michelle's and missed the train as it was canceled so Michelle and I arrived at Waterloo about two hours after we said, or actually after Leslie told us. And then took the Underground to Queenspark to change trains and go to Wembley [stadium]. This is the time that tried my soul.
Michelle and Leslie went to the bathroom and told Doug and I to wait. Apparently, when they came back they thought they saw us get on the grain there -- which we didn't.
After waiting an hour we went to look for them (the concert had already started about 45 minutes earlier) when a worker came up to us to tell us that Leslie and Michelle were in Wembley -- not in the bathroom -- and not in trouble. So, we waited for the next train to take us to Wembley. Boy, were we pissed. Once we go there I exploded and pushed Leslie. I pushed a bit too hard and got her really made not that I wasn't. So they started running to the concert but Doug and I said "Bullshit on that" and as they walked a block ahead of us, we decided to just go home. It was a fifteen pound loss but I think it was worth it. I hope that by Saturday Leslie and Michelle will be mellow.
So here I am in Kingston. The wrong train again.
So now I have to go back to Wimbledon or Raynes Park and wait, after this train shows up.
I know it was a really shitty thing to do to Leslie and Michelle but it seemed right at the time. I'll see how they are on Saturday. Until then, I'll try not to think about it.
Dude! This [note]book is almost through. I bought a new one but Michelle has it. Fuck. I liked Natasha. She was nice. But she was somewhat dorky and a drunk. I like Michelle - she's nice but she has a boyfriend.
England needs:
Ice
Iced Tea
Air Conditioning
Less Litter
Faster Rails
Better Roads
Everything Cheaper
Happier People
[This incident with Leslie -- physically shoving her when we finally arrived at the train station after being worried sick about our friends who just disappeared -- still haunts me. This is the first and only time I ever abused a woman without her consent. I won't try to make any excuses. It was a terrible thing to do and something for which I'm still sorry.
By this point in the trip, it seems that nerves are getting raw and the angst in my pants is just making everything worse.]
I like doing research. Before I came over to Shanghai I tried several avenues to get an idea of what to expect. Some of them were more successful than others.
As I mentioned a few posts back, I listened to the Two White Chicks in China podcast and I can't say how invaluable that was. I had some amazing listeners to The Projection Booth podcast respond after I put out a brief "I'm going to Shanghai and I'm not sure what's going to happen" announcement. I also read a few travel books and scoured the web for travel blogs. I even visited a Reddit and Facebook page maintained by "expats" living in Shanghai.
The person who wasn't very helpful was one of the people from my office. My biggest questions before coming over here involved 1) getting Andrea here (she arrives November 2) and 2) getting some kind of per diem so I don't have to worry about credit cards. I was concerned about that as I kept being told that American credit cards are not honored here in China.
My contact person "researched" my per diem request and came back with an answer that "Yes, American Express is definitely workable here in Shanghai."
The truth is that a few places -- even in the more "Westernized" area where I'm staying -- take AMEX but the majority do not. The most prevalent form of payment that we've seen thus far is using one's phone and either AliPay or WeChat Pay. There's also something called Union Pay which is based right here in Pudong. Cash is still accepted, of course, though it can get a bit bulky.
The other night, Laura went over to a nearby massage parlor and when she went to pay she found out that they didn't take AMEX or Visa (the same thing happened at a restaurant the same day. Fortunately, I was with her and able to pay cash). The owner of the parlor followed her back to her hotel and waited while she got money for him.
That said, I hope she gives my contact person an earful about payment methods in China.
One of the things I heard on Two White Chicks in China was about Mobike -- the bike rental service. They're around but nowhere near as plentiful (on my street anyway) as Ofo. It seems like I have connected my US AMEX to their app and will be able to rent a bike for a measly 1 RMB (about 15 cents) per trip (so one way to the grocery store is one trip, coming back is another trip so thirty whole cents. I'm looking into these electrified bikes I occasionally see, too.
Electric Bikes for Electric Youth
I'm not above riding the bus here (once I get a Metro card) though I have to say that taxis are fairly inexpensive. And, there's a thing I have yet to get over about tipping. Let's just say that Mr. Pink would be very happy here. "He don't tip." It's difficult for me to have restaurant and not leave a few RMB for a tip.
I'm looking into buying a scooter -- either like a "scooter scooter" one of those ones with the two little wheels and the long handle that I can fold and carry or something like a Vespa. Of course, I'm worried about the "Vespa" being stolen but I'm more worried about being hit by a car. I've been WeChatting with some people who I've found on SmartShanghai.com that are selling their stuff. Like me, they're "expats". I've got an appointment set up for Saturday morning to see one bike (kind of pricey but legal) and maybe will me another one tomorrow (cheaper but illegal -- no license plate).
Well, dudes, we're not being excellent to each other over here. Mr. Lee is yelling at me because I noticed a bus station but didn't look at the times and all this other garbage.
"I work my ASS off and he spends my money on that TRASHY White Bitch!" [I'm not sure what this is from though I imagine The Mack. Whatever it is, I like it.]
We went to the London Dungeon. Weak. We went to Trafalgar Square. Great.* Pigeons and statues aplenty.
England -- not just one smell but a cornucopia of stench.
Last night I just hung around with Michelle. I didn't discuss meeting with Natasha today. I guess I'll call her later. We went down to the S&M [what we called Marks & Spencer] shopping and talked to her [Michelle's] skater boyfriend, Rob's house.
7/20
[Drawing of a calendar]
July 21, 22, 23 PARIS
July 24 The Cure
July 25, 26, 27, 28 Dusseldorf
YOU MAKE ME WORK! [Cameo reference]
Here I am in Kingston. Some nice shops here but no McDonalds?!? I finally found a park to sit down and have my lunch. I sat home all morning but then I went down and noon and called Natasha but she wasn't home so I curtailed my Wapoling activities and ventured forth to Wimbledon to cash another traveler's cheque and then took the train here. Starting tomorrow I'm going to have one hell of a week! I have to be up by 5:30 tomorrow and then it's no sleep 'til Brooklyn.
Ya know what I want? A really senseless physical relationship with a good-looking woman.
Yeah...
Then I threw out all those credit cards... Yeah... [Oran "Juice" Jones reference]
[Undated]
The Left Bank
Jim Morrison's Grave
I'm now in FRANCE.
I've seen London. I'll see France... So far I only have one question. What do the cows say?
7/21
Ah, Paris.
City of Lights.
City of Stench.
City of _______
We arrived at a bit past 8 and found that I was paired off with Doug, the kid from Cali, who seems really cool. Wen we got in after a 12+ our trip I got a well-needed shower, probably the best thing to happen to me today. After that we checked out everybody's rooms. Our is SO SMALL. Two single beds, a table, a window, a wardrobe, a diminutive bathroom. We then sallied forth and met up with some friends:
The Amazon
Fran & Friend
Natasha, Stacie, & Heather
Michelle
And went to this church FAR up on a cliff [Montmartre] We paid F23 for a fucking Coke and then went to the church [Sacré-Cœur] to discover that it was closed.
We sat down on the MANY steps that led up to the church and several swarthy dudes began hitting on the girls. Oh, it was fun. We walked back to the hotel and discovered that just about everyone was drunk or in the process of getting there.
Oh my, Jim was having a real fun time, too, with his two Scandinavian goddesses in Room 44. I think I'll stay away from Natasha for a few days, or maybe I'll wait 'til after France so she can be alone while I'm in Germany.
I'll have fun, fun, fun 'til Frannie takes my passport away. Kirk out.
[Notes]
REMINDER THE RED FLAMINGO [I have no idea what this means]
7/23
Paris...
Ahh...
Yawn...
It is SO filthy here. The water is not safe to drink. The whole city reeks. And the Metro smells like a urinal.
We had a Continental Breakfast which seemed like it was from the continent of Antarctica. A croissant, a small loaf of bread, and coffee. Then we went to the coach: It's so hot in here. Let me out, please! [Arthur Brown reference].
We went to the church again and hung around a bit and Michelle made the barter of a lifetime.
This guy drew a picture of her in chalk and after he quoted the price of 300F she said, "All I have is this" a 10F piece and the guy accepted it. A mark down of 1/30th of the price.
[Later]
On the way to Versailles.
So anyway, then we went to Notre Dame. It is so cool. The architecture was astounding. Too much for words. Towering spires. Majestic.
We then proceeded to the Eiffel Tower. It was a lot bigger than I had expected. I didn't, however, go to the top. At the moment, I didn't have enough flow [money] and Kevin took off before I knew where he was going so Michelle, Natasha, Stacey, Heather and I sat around and ate. Eventually we went back to the bus which later dropped off Doug, Jimmy, Kevin, Natasha, Stacy, Heather, Leslie and I off by the Louvre.
Once we got to the entrance, I finally got to see the great glass pyramid and while I was taking a picture of it everyone else was getting in line. When I turned around, everyone was gone.
So, I looked EVERYWHERE, believe you me, I was flipping out after I couldn't see them. Then, after an hour or so, I finally went inside just as they were all coming out! [I remember this as being very traumatic but I don't got into that here].
We actually made it back to the hotel alright, probably because of Heather's expert advice. And now to tell us how to better live our lives, Mrs. Know-It-All.
And then... another great shower.
It is SO hot in France. More humid than just hot. Later we went on our dinner and boat trip. No, not a dinner boat. We went to some hole-in-the-wall and then cruised the Seine. Very pleasant. When we got back to zee 'otel we decided to go back to that church again. Natasha basically ignored me so Michelle and I hung out. The swarthy dudes weren't as bad as the previous night and they left Michelle and this girl Karen alone after they said they were lesbians.
We went back -- Kevin, Jim, Michelle, Doug, the two Swedish girls -- and met in Natasha, Stacey, and Heather's room. When I arrived, Natasha was getting drunk. Cool guy (not).* But other than that, it was fun just to hang out with basically cool people, it would have been better in another room. One without Natasha, Stacey, and/or Heather.
At this moment I'm sitting on the bus - it's actually cool for once. We're on our way back to England. Jim wants a t-shirt that says "I Hate France." He says he's going to write a book on how to improve Europe. I'd buy both. Today we went to Versailles. It reminded me of Oxford. A pretty town unlike anything in the U.S. but it had fewer people than Oxford, a definite plus. I'm going to have fun telling Mrs. Lee how much France sucks and that I didn't go to the gardens at Versailles. What I did was hung out with Michelle and checked out the Versailles food shops.
[What I didn't write is that Versailles had a great open air market and that we bought some fresh peaches and brie. Both were possibly the most delicious I'd ever had. Though I slagged on France a lot, I would go back in a heart beat. I don't know why I was being such a jerk. And, gosh, it's hot in July. Imagine that!]
*The more I read these kinds of things he more I think that Donald Trump writes his tweets like I wrote when I was 17 years old.
The truth is that a few places -- even in the more "Westernized" area where I'm staying -- take AMEX but the majority do not. The most prevalent form of payment that we've seen thus far is using one's phone and either AliPay or WeChat Pay. There's also something called Union Pay which is based right here in Pudong. Cash is still accepted, of course, though it can get a bit bulky. 
